विदा

मन अक्सर रो उठता है

सोच करके उन पलों को,

जो पल-पल पास आए जाते हैं

और  दिल में हूक  उठा जाते हैं /

जब जाते होगे दूर कहीं तुम मुझसे

और स्तब्ध खड़ा-सा मैं होऊँगा

आँसू ले अपनी आँखों में /

मन जो चाहे हो न पाए /


लिपट उठता हूँ मैं तुमसे

कि विदा की बेला शायद न आएगी /

घड़ियाँ बढ़ना छोड़ विगत को दुहरायेंगी /

भ्रम  टूटता है,घड़ियाँ बढती हैं और कदम भी बढ़ते हैं /

आँखों में आँसू झिलमिल  फिर से सजने लगते हैं /


वादे होते हैं फिर  मिलने के,याद सदा रखने के

और भूले-से भी भूल नहीं जाने के /

वादे तो कर चुके पर क्या कभी ये पूरे होंगे ?

समय की धारा में बहते क्या कभी संग  किनारे होंगे ?

बिन बोले क्या अब जानोगे ?

बातें जो भी कहना चाहूँ /

पास क्या तुम आ सकोगे?

साथ तुम्हारा जब भी चाहूँ /

- Kumar Keshvendra

Wildflower

Despair locked my bleak beach house,
Hope asked me to take a stroll and not cower,
The smothering flame hoping I could douse,
Admist the wilderness I came across a wildflower.

A dulcet aroma its lure,
Like thunder preceeds the rain,
Its beauty oh so demure,
A captaing but I wasn't my own coxswain.

A few steps cautiously I paced,
Swaying in the sleeping currents of time,
My wildflower seemed grossly misplaced,
Ineffable, her alluring pantomime.


Through gritted teeth slipped my candour,
The fading aroma ceased our distant banter
I guess, time wasn't in my favour,
For spring turned to winter.

-Gairik Biswas

आत्महत्या : एक नाकाम कोशिश

आत्महत्या 

एक नाकाम कोशिश 

तकलीफ़े पीछे छोड़ने की । 

एक कायर कहानी 

दुनिया से मुँह मोड़ने की ॥

एक खुदगर्ज़ी 

अपनों को बीच राह छोड़ने की ॥ 

 अब काश कोई इन अभागों को समझा पाये 

यूँ दर्द से राहत नहीं मिला करती ,

राहत नाम एक एहसास का हैं 

जो महसूस करने को आदमी, ज़िंदा जरुरी हैं ॥ 

कभी देखा हैं किसी मुर्दे को चैन की साँस लेते हुए ?

मौत को यूँ चूम कर 

पाने जाते हो नयी सुबह 

क्या सोच के ,

 अगली जंग तुम्हें आसान मिल जाएगी ?

ये झूला 

कभी दर्द नहीं छीन पाता । 

अगर कुछ छीन पाता हैं तो बस ,

 बेबस माँ के चेहरे पे हँसी । 

दे पाता हैं कुछ तो बस

लाचार बाप की आँखों में नमी   ॥ 

कन्धा से कन्धा ढूँढता हैं भाई  

बहन याद करती हैं राखी वाली कलाई ॥ 

.
.
 अंत में,
फ़िर भी

अगर फैसला अपना 

सही लगा हैं तुमको भाई 

तो शायद सच में बदकिस्मत थी, वो माई 

जिसने जिण कर तुम्हें, अपनी कोख़ लजाई ॥

-Manish Kumar Khedawat
Senior Undergraduate
Dept. of Electronics and Electrical communication Engineering

Penurious Fella

In his curious eyes,
the spinning world reflects,
Under the bleak skies,
Cozy in his mother's arm, she selects,
Her next spot for food, pity and despise.

Gazing upon his coevals in white and blue,
Why none his own not a clue,
His fate not his choice,
A kite a shooting star the same for this soul,
Next to his mother's dulcet voice,
A coin tinkling in his rusty bowl.

Into the sidewalk cracks innocence seeps,
Water, sweat and blood on an equal scale,
His own hands to tame his woeful peeps,
All but for a bit of kale.

Food, fantasies and curses on his daily plate,
A puff, a sip, a bread his only solace,
Blood and fists, all they adjudicate,
Countless steps he wishes to retrace,
Bruises follow pride,sadness do love,
Cursing above, his fate he wove.

Empty pockets full of worry,
He has to look his family in the eye,
The sole breadwinner in a shabby terry,
Carrying, sweeping, pinching his daily bread,
Not a chosen path along which he must scurry,
Doors shut, the same path his child must tread.

Bones ache as the curtain draws near,
A ubiquitous wrinkled hand under a raised bowl,
A loner, bittersweet memories he has to bear,
Coerced smiles in lieu pity behind a silent yowl,
Tank empty, life rolls in a neutral gear.

Hard to breathe, hard to walk, easy to long,
The welcoming paradise, an awaited death,
Smiles and tears as he sings his mother's song,
On the sidewalk, world afar takes his last breath,
Eyes invited by the accumulated canine cries,
The world reflecting in his dull dead eyes.

-Gairik Biswas

How far would you go?

I had a terrible day. We say it all the time. A fight with the boss, the stomach flu, traffic. That’s what we describe as terrible when nothing terrible is happening. But, when the really terrible things happen, we start begging the God we don’t believe in to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn’t it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it have helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives? It is seriously hard to tell. Isn’t it? Shanaya thought the same looking at her 5 year old son, Chiranjeev.

Sitting in a room full of IV fluids, syringes and machines, she constantly gazed at his son’s face, lying on a bed at perhaps the world’s biggest hospital, The Mayo Hospital. The only thought that came to her mind was the unfortunate day, December 14,2012, when her journey to the inferno began. It was a Friday, she clearly recalled. She was in her office, talking to her boss about how the stocks in the market had turned into an asset for their company. Suddenly, a phone call came from The Delhi School of Learning. She never knew that this phone call would turn her life upside down.

Miss Fernandez, Chiranjeev’s kindergarden teacher had called up Shanaya for an emergency case of her son, stating that he was having abdominal pain and couldn’t feel his legs. He had been rushed to The Apollo Hospital, 3 blocks away from the school itself. After those words, she had simply lost her mental balance. She came out of her office, running towards her black Honda City which seemed to have been parked in the distant corner of the parking lot. As the got into the car, there was no time lag in revving of the engines. Within minutes, she reached the hospital where her son was already in the operation theater, being examined by Dr. Ankit Shergil. The only words that came out of her mouth were if her son was fine. The doctor coldly replied,” It seems we need to run a few more tests before the diagnosis.” As the doctor left, ordering for a CT scan and an MRI, the intern consoled the worried mother by telling her that Dr. Ankit was simply the best. Yet worried on the whole, there was a part of her that was relieved.

After about 40 minutes, the doctor returned. He said,” The news is not good. Chiranjeev seems to have a very rare condition called abdominal aortic aneurysm. Not that the condition is rare, the chances of finding the anomaly in such a young child is very rare. There have been only a few cases in the world. I’m sorry to say that such cases have not been treated not only in this hospital, but rather in any hospital in India.”

Those words echoed in Shanaya’s ears for a long time. The ground beneath her had just seemed to tear apart. She had no idea whom to call. She had left her family when she was 17 and her husband when she was 27. Being a single mother has its torments, she thought. Then, she had an idea. She called her best friend, Ananya who was the closest thing to the family she had.

 Ananya, was a young beautiful, smart, independent woman who had came to Delhi 6 years ago. She had made a lot of friends after coming to the the capital, but for her Shanaya was more than just a friend. For her, she was like family.

After coming to know about the events that had taken placed in the past hours, she felt a hole in her heart. For her, Chiranjeev was nothing less than her own son. But, she knew exactly what to do. Being a medical student once, she had friends who now worked as doctors in one of the world’s most renowned hospital, The John Hopkins. Without thinking much, she picked up her iphone, and ran into all her contacts to see if anyone picked up. Some numbers were simply incorrect (people do change their mobile numbers, she thought).  Others were engaged , busy or switched off. At last, she came to a contact named ‘DO NOT CALL’. She knew exactly who the contact was named afterall. It was of Rachael Mason, her ex boyfriend, with whom she had broken up years ago. Dialing the same number, she mumbled,’ if it wasn’t for Chiranjeev and Shanaya’. ‘Hello?’ a hoarse voice answered.’Hello, Ananya?’ the man continued. ‘Yes, Rachael, its me’ Ananya continued. As she told about Chiranjeev to her ex boyfriend, her voice trembled. ‘Do not worry’ Rachael answered. ’I will talk about this case with my seniors and call you back soon’ he promised.

Within 20 minutes, Ananya was again talking to Rachael. ‘My boss attended a conference about similar case that was seen in Phoenix. The operation was a clinical experiment, but was quite successful. Infact, the hospital seemed to have funded all the expenses. I am going to contact the same hospital and will let you know further.’ After talking to the man, Ananya could see a ray of hope lighting up her whole world. Ananya was already on her way to the place where her son was lying.

After reaching the hospital and explaining everything to Shanaya, she went into the cafeteria to talk to the ‘messiah’ of Chiranjeev’s life. ‘Chiranjeev, the one with a long, happy life’, she thought to herself, while dialing ‘DO NOT CALL’ contact again. After the call, she came running towards Ananya. “We need to leave for Phoenix in an hour.” “Have you lost your mind?” “NO! Rachael called up. He said that the doctors at The Mayo Hospital are ready to treat Chiranjeev. We need to leave now.”

Within seconds, Shanaya rushed towards her home, which was 20 minute drive from the hospital. The traffic jams in Delhi were inevitable, especially in the area of Vasant Kunj, where both Shanaya and Ananya used to reside, as room mates. “Damn”, Shanya said, looking at the number of vehicles ahead on the road. Her eyes were filled with anger, fear and hope.

Entering into her deserted apartment, she packed some her and Ananya’s clothes and documents into her bag. She opened her purse and transferred all her savings into it from the almirah. Within minutes, she was on her way to the airport. IGI Aiprort was a 16 minute drive from her home. Meanwhile, in the hospital, Ananya completed all the formalities which were required for discharging Chiranjeev. As soon as they were complete, she left for the airport, along with the ambulance carrying her son.

“I need 3 tickets for the next flight to Phoenix, Arizona”, Shanaya said. The correspondent responded by telling her that the next flight is at 9.00 p.m. ‘Fine’, she responded, although she was not fine with any of it.

At sharp 8.15, the boarding started. After that, all she cared was to reach The Mayo’s as soon as possible. It was a matter of time that her definition of ‘the worst day’ ever had changed. After a flight of 12 hours, they finally reached their destination city. Now the aim was to reach the destination itself.

On their way to The Mayo Clinic, after a long time, Chiranjeev spoke. ”What is happening to me mom?” The young lady kept on crying and could say nothing except,’ its all going to be fine, sweetheart.’ It took them about 2 long hours to reach their destination.

As they entered the clinic, Ananya saw her ex boyfriend coming towards her. ‘Heyy! The doctors are ready to examine the patient.’ As a result, Chiranjeev was admitted and his past medical history was taken from Shanaya. Meanwhile, Ananya thanked Rachael for all his help.” It was my duty, he said. That’s what I do. Besides, I always thought that we could clear things out.” As soon as he said this, she hugged him tightly.

After that, the three of them were introduced to the board of doctors, who were going to treat Chiranjeev. After 2 days he was all prepped for the surgery, and the chief cardiothoracic surgeon came. A tall woman in her 50s, Dr. Serena Swan was undoubtedly the best. She was smart, confident and yet polite.” We will do the best we can, I promise”.

After a long surgery that went for complete 10 hours, Dr. Swan came out. ‘It seems the operation was successful, but we won’t know until he wakes up.’

It was December 18, 2012, and it seemed that Chiranjeev was still unconscious. Both his mothers were sitting along his bedside. They were both waiting deliberately for him to wake up. While, Shanya was still trying to recapitulate the plethora of events that had taken place in the past few hours or days(everything was happening so fast that she lost the track of time), on the other hand, Ananya was trying to solve the mess she had created of her life. That day they both realized, the loss of an only child is the worst pain anyone can endure. After all, what do parents live for?  With the best years of their youth gone by, they don’t have any yearnings for comfort or money or fame; all they want is to see their child grow up as happy, healthy human being with all the luxuries that they couldn’t afford or need. To see years of love, care and upbringing reduce to dust, burnt or buried, takes away everything from a parent that they own.

After Shanaya was deep into their deep thoughts and Ananya was out talking to Rachael, brown eyes glittered with innocence and hope in them. Shanaya hugged him tightly as soon as she realized slight pressure on her hands because of the clutching. The next instant itself, Ananya hugged his son tight. Rachael went running to inform Dr. Swan that Chiranjeev had just waken up.

The doctor started examining the boy. After a running few tests, she told the ‘sisters’ to meet her in her cabin. Rachael accompanied them.

‘We have a good news. Chiranjeev looks fine and I guess the surgery was successful. But, you need to take care of him. We cannot promise anything to you as the clinical trial is still on a very preliminary base. He may live for another year or he may live his complete lifetime. Take care of him. After all, he’s still like a grenade.’ ’Thank you doctor. You don’t know what you haven given us.’ ‘I very well do’, is all the doctor said.

Both Ananya and Shanaya decided that they will give Chiranjeev whatever they can and even whatever they can’t. If he is going to act like a grenade, they’ll make sure he never blows up, and even if he does they’ll give him a forever within the numbered days.

After almost an year, Shanaya was watching a trailer on television. It said,” I believe we have a choice in this world about how to tell sad stories. On the one hand, you can sugarcoat it. Nothing is too messed up that can’t be fixed with a Peter Gabriel Song. I like that version as much as the next girl does. It’s just not the truth.” She would have not understood the exact meaning of these lines a few months ago or if the casualty had not taken place. She knew the pain of facing a reality that could mean to take everything from you. She knew, that it was easy to say that you can face any situation with a smile and a song but a lot harder to do it. But till now it seems everything has been going well. Chiranjeev is fine and in fact, both his mothers spend most of their time with him. After all, they did decided to give him an infinity within a numbered days, making sure that this infinity is bigger than the other infinities.

- Kshitij Gupta

 1st Year UG,

 University of Medical Sciences

Oh !!! That Girl In Blue....

Part 1

Sitting down the dusky lanes
beside my old folks from brain,

I conceived a vicious plot
to rule the world again.

With vodka shot in one hand, the other with an Arthur’s sword
No sooner did I hear a thud
In a jiffy all that was gone
The prof made me realize that I was in a dream
Standing on my nose he barked and barked on me
No wonder how I cracked up the audience
I was but a naïve fool
In a class of 100 stupid nerds
that was not at all cool

I stammered to ask for an apology but it was all too late
the professor had already asked me to surrender and leave through the gate.

Sir Sir….. was all I said
he turned his back and moved

But… OH MY GOD, Leaving me to the sight of a Mid-Summer Night MOON

With sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks she looked at me and laughed

In her blue closet she looked so cute, my heart went fathoms far.
I fixed my gaze on the beauty as the beast drove me off the room

But who cared about that bastard when the flowers in my heart were about to bloom

The brain just passed a dead signal that my mind palace got vacant
for it was ready to be filled with someone so admirable and significant

Restless as I was, I went up and down the corridor
The only thing was the final bell that I now  longed for

 I peeked through the glass for a view
of her lips like honey dew
My heart just skipped a beat
and my mind chanted
Oh That Girl In Blue!!!
Oh That Girl In Blue!!!

-Rohan Gupta

Chaos finally in Order

Many of us are really afraid and ignorant for our closeness and love for chaos, the life with nothing in order and still everything in the best way it could have been. For chaos brings excitement and meanings to our lives, to be a problem solver or the problem gives us the enigmatic feel of pride and joy to be at the centre unrealized of the very same ‘Chakravyuh’ that Arjun’s son Abhimanyu was once in. It is that centre we enjoy the most, just entangled in every affair to secure the least time we get for ourselves.

When we think of existence of human lives, for us who have ample amount of waste time to introspect our lives, we start questioning ours. ‘Matrix’ as most of us would have seen highlights the idea of a false material world is a proclamation of Buddhist thought dating back to the ancient Indian continent. The Buddhas (or Teachers) expressed a disbelief in the concept of the cyclical human being. It’s the concept of Life beyond Life. But most of us will clear our theatres with the pinch of thought and appreciation of the cinematography of the movie and move on, yet again. We often question our existence but were never interested enough to know if that means something, we were merely curious if any explanation can withstand the question


Inception of Life

When I wake up every morning I almost always forget asking myself this as I’m never so sure that it’ll ever fetch me an answer. But when something great has happened I would just pinch myself and reassure myself of it not being a dream. But how can he really be sure that he hasn’t pinched himself in the dream itself and it’s just the dream continued and how can he ever assure himself that all of this has never been dream from day 1. I was never born, I never grew up, I never loved, I never did anything, but all of this was just a popped up thought of my mind to be born, to live and survive in an alternate reality to learn, learn whatever these 80 years of ruthless fucking life can teach me, and many more like these so that I can climb up the ladder one more step and be able to break my dream, to be up at the top with all that is needed. The notion of each of 84 lakh lives taken by soul can easily be those trillionth parts of my dream magnified to be portrayed as reality and fool myself so that tomorrow I do not commit the same mistake. And this explains me the virtues and mysteries of reincarnations and ecstasies of re-births for some unachieved goals. Those are just threads of dreams sieved together with occasional neuro-signals carried over to my next dream or here in this world my next life


It's ME

All of this leads to the conclusion. It projects the whole universe to be me. It’s me who has made this world the way it stands. It’s me who stands and me who falls, for it I’m life and I’m the death. I’m the Time and Space. I’m what people breathe and I’m what they worship. I am the almighty’s angel of life Jesus and I’m the only one again For this entire universe is just a magnified version of the minutest use of my dream and there could be billions and trillions of these universes that I have made and destroyed. For all I was the smartest and the Dumbest. And still nobody who has made it reading this far can ever deny its possibility. And this is how matter, energy, life and space are connected ‘cause everything is me and I’m in everything This body is just the personification of my brain to restrict him from being the up highest ‘cause it’s under the toughest of situations that I learn but it still is rejuvenating to make me feel the energy and power that I withhold and motivates me to learn the reason I’m here for, the reason for me to move on and reach the next level

Yes I was the Adam that started your life and I’m the one who’ll take it. Yes I’m the one who believes in himself and more than that he believes in his creation and the way he faces situations, the way he learns and improves and moves on. I am who I am and I’d be immortal as always with new faces, colour and creed and I’d be one who’ll live for ages and all will one day vanish but me.

IT IS ME ! The Person Unknown. The Power unrealized.

- Jagdish Chelani

Fourth Year Student

Department Of Biotechnology