It is really complicated. My relations with
father. I just don't understand those couples who are in love with each other
for a few months and they say that their relationship is complicated. They
haven't even known each other completely. I know what is complicated.
I am a part of my father. We have a lot in common and I guess that it is the main reason why we can't go along. People say that when 2 people have something in common they have a lot of fun. I know they are wrong.
It feels very awkward then I come home after many months and in 60 days we don't converse even for 60 minutes. And to my surprise it doesn't even hurt. But still I can't imagine myself without him. That's what I call complicated. He is a lot like me. Well, I am a lot like him. Whenever I want to know what I am, I just think of my father. We both get irritated easily. We are both short tempered. We both want to force our will. We both have a good sense of humor. We both try to look hard hearted. We both are emotional. We both are more honest than necessary. We both can't say no. We both are intelligent and I guess like him I will also have very unusual turns in my life.
For a lot of time I thought he only care for me because he has to, because unfortunately I am his son. For a lot of time I was wrong. We never had casual conversation longer than 20 minutes. We both don't understand each other.
It reminds me of a question. It asked what would I say in the last time to my family? My answer was, "I was very similar to them yet I wanted to be so different." It was about my father. I thought that a person who deserves my last words can only be him. I felt so repelled to him that for many instance I hated him. But then I understood struggle in life.
In all movies till now I couldn't understand the so called daddy's love. I couldn't understand 'princess of their fathers' phrase of girls. But I could feel it. It was complicated. I always knew that he had feelings for me. But I doubt myself that if I am similar to him even in this case or not. No, I wasn't. Because he is a father but I am not.
Few days ago it was father's day. In news paper there were article's everywhere about father. I didn't read them with full interest and kept them aside. After this, He came and read it and he began to hum the song- "mera naam karega roshan, mera jag me raj dularaa." I stopped there for a while and that day I understood it. It was very complicated. He taught me many things in life by not teaching me, but by showing me. I know that we never communicated much but we always felt each other. It is complicated.
Now if someone asks me that what have I learned in these nearly 19 years. I would say that a man is like a ship on a sea. A lady is the crew of the ship. A ship must be hard enough to survive all the storms in the sea and soft enough to let the crew lead him. Ship must be fearless, determined for its destination, hard working. Crew must be joy full, free spirit, patient and smart enough to lead ship. A ship can't exist without a crew and a crew is worthless without the ship. And two alike ships without any crew are bound to collide some day. It was the crew of our family who was procrastinating it since a long time.
He taught me all that, without even uttering a word. It's complicated, very complicated.
I am a part of my father. We have a lot in common and I guess that it is the main reason why we can't go along. People say that when 2 people have something in common they have a lot of fun. I know they are wrong.
It feels very awkward then I come home after many months and in 60 days we don't converse even for 60 minutes. And to my surprise it doesn't even hurt. But still I can't imagine myself without him. That's what I call complicated. He is a lot like me. Well, I am a lot like him. Whenever I want to know what I am, I just think of my father. We both get irritated easily. We are both short tempered. We both want to force our will. We both have a good sense of humor. We both try to look hard hearted. We both are emotional. We both are more honest than necessary. We both can't say no. We both are intelligent and I guess like him I will also have very unusual turns in my life.
For a lot of time I thought he only care for me because he has to, because unfortunately I am his son. For a lot of time I was wrong. We never had casual conversation longer than 20 minutes. We both don't understand each other.
It reminds me of a question. It asked what would I say in the last time to my family? My answer was, "I was very similar to them yet I wanted to be so different." It was about my father. I thought that a person who deserves my last words can only be him. I felt so repelled to him that for many instance I hated him. But then I understood struggle in life.
In all movies till now I couldn't understand the so called daddy's love. I couldn't understand 'princess of their fathers' phrase of girls. But I could feel it. It was complicated. I always knew that he had feelings for me. But I doubt myself that if I am similar to him even in this case or not. No, I wasn't. Because he is a father but I am not.
Few days ago it was father's day. In news paper there were article's everywhere about father. I didn't read them with full interest and kept them aside. After this, He came and read it and he began to hum the song- "mera naam karega roshan, mera jag me raj dularaa." I stopped there for a while and that day I understood it. It was very complicated. He taught me many things in life by not teaching me, but by showing me. I know that we never communicated much but we always felt each other. It is complicated.
Now if someone asks me that what have I learned in these nearly 19 years. I would say that a man is like a ship on a sea. A lady is the crew of the ship. A ship must be hard enough to survive all the storms in the sea and soft enough to let the crew lead him. Ship must be fearless, determined for its destination, hard working. Crew must be joy full, free spirit, patient and smart enough to lead ship. A ship can't exist without a crew and a crew is worthless without the ship. And two alike ships without any crew are bound to collide some day. It was the crew of our family who was procrastinating it since a long time.
He taught me all that, without even uttering a word. It's complicated, very complicated.
- Ashutosh Goyal
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